why do cheetos always look like penises
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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