How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
