You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
More tranny stories later!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
