do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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