The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I need moral support for this bender
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
