plz talk dirty to me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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