I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
