My friends, they love my intelligence
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
