You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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