I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
