maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's never too late to be topless.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
