Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
