Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
