PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
