Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
