He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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