is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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