Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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