sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
