Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
