One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
