My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
