I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
