please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize