wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
