well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
