So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
