using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize