That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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