I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
