Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
