I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize