Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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