no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
