WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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