at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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