You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
