I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
