this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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