if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize