so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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