I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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