I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
