In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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