Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize