I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're making bets on your personal life
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize