Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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