a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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