...so i touched it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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