It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
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Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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