I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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