My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
