mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just cropdusted the office
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
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I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
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