I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
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His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
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The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
sex in a hospital.. check
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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