I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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