perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
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I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
