And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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