So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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